A fair warning to the readers. This post is the rant of a troubled heart and will not be optimistic. Please do not read any further if you don’t want to be even a little bit sad or spoil your day. Having given this warning, let me put something here which has been troubling me since some days.
It seems as though awful things are happening to people around you, some of which hit real close to home. Somehow when you hear about the tragedies happening in the world, they don’t affect you so much. But somebody you even know about gets affected, then the truth hits home. You too are vulnerable and something of this sort or some other sort may happen to you or your dear ones too.
In the last few days I have heard a series of real bad news about relatives and before that some about friends. Somehow there is a feeling as though this is a jinxed period in life, even if not personally but somehow it is there. And no idea why. So much bad stuff happening right around the corner.The most scary and perhaps cowardly part is that I have started thinking in the terms of what next now…who next…what will I hear next.
There are happy moments too, but these happenings seem to have a cast a shadow on everything. And mind keeps on turning towards these thoughts rather than trying to find positive things. They say every cloud has a silver lining. But even so, what do we about the rest of the dark cloud. Ignore it, pretend it didn’t happen, talk about it….what do we do. The cloud doesn’t vanish even if we find the silver lining. It is still there, dark and looming and grey and bleak. Or is it my mood which makes me see it that way. No idea.
I don’t know if this is a phase or it is going to continue and what will the future be. I don’t want to know. I want this to stop. I want some positive news for a change. Someone succeeding in their goal, someone getting better from sickness, someone scoring good marks….something to hold on and fight this fear… about what next…